Lord of the Hats in the Ring?
He's annoying at any speed...but there IS a way candidate Nader can further his cause, and the Democrats', too
The fact that Ralph Nader is so persistently and profoundly right doesn't make him the least bit less annoying, and it doesn't seem to matter much whether you agree or disagree with what he has to say. Not that he's ever seemed to care all that much about being liked, of course: gadflies usually don't. But politicians have to. Just weeks ago, every Democratic presidential candidate who received even one percent of the vote was declaring himself a winner, of sorts -- at least Mom was proud of him. Now that all those guys have decided against seeking similar victories and gone back home, along comes Nader to tell us that if he can participate in the debate and get his message out, he'll be a winner, too -- we'll all be winners! Rejoice! But this is a presidential election, not a contest for a European parliamentary seat. Over there, the Extremo Christian Democratic Alliance or the Friends of Beer Party or the Reformed Peasants Coalition or even the Unreformed Working Girls Union might be able to pull together enough votes to get a seat for a single one of their members, just so as to have a voice in a parliamentary system, albeit a lone one crying out in the wilderness. Here, the Ralph Party would have to win a seat behind the desk in the Oval Office in order to win anything at all. And as we were reminded just four years ago, even winning a majority of the popular vote isn't enough: you have to have the all-or-nothing electoral votes of each state, and if there's a dispute about that then you'd best have a majority on the Supreme Court. Nader has always seemed like a pretty smart guy, but his deciding to run this year kind of makes me wonder if he's the kind of person who figures that if the lotto jackpot is at a record high and record numbers of tickets are being sold, his chances of winning must be better than ever.
So far, he has won something valuable indeed: time on television, more than 24 hours of it since he announced his candidacy on Meet the Press Sunday morning (remember when "the Press" on Meet the Press was more than one person?). And he has spent that time wisely, using his turn to talk* to focus on real and important issues and point out what he sees as the shortcomings of both parties, particularly the one now controlling the White House, the Supreme Court, the House, the Senate, etc. As I listened to him go through his talking points all day yesterday, I kept thinking of his previous round of television interviews a few months ago, in which he responded to all inquiries about whether he would run by pointing out that he was supporting Dennis Kucinich. And I began to perceive a scenario in which candidate Ralph could do some good in this race after all.
If if if if if he were pure of heart like Frodo the hobbit -- well, if he were then he wouldn't be running for office, but just hypothetically, then Ralph could help rid the world of some of the evils he keeps telling us about. All he needs to do is carry the hat he's just tossed into the ring all the way into the mouth of the volcano. It will be an arduous journey over many months and many obstacles, pressing flesh and, if not kissing babies, then at least lecturing them on the importance of wearing seat belts, or the perils of corporate influences in politics. As an independent, he must go it alone, learning to shout above everyone else on cable news shows. Every time a reporter asks him a question, he can use his turn to talk, knowing that he has to be in the race and stay in it in order for the reporters to keep asking him those questions so that he can talk, and so on until, say, long about Labor Day. At that point, end of September at the latest, our long shot candidate would have to be strong enough to do what he must: toss that hat into the fires of Mt. Doom and urge his supporters to support the Democratic nominee.
Can he do it? Would he? That depends on which Ralph Nader we're dealing with here, because this Frodo is also part Gollum. There's the Ralph Nader who campaigned for car safety in the 60s and warns us about genetically engineered food in the 21st Century and who makes a whole lot of sense when he talks about what's wrong with our political system. There's also the Ralph Nader who thinks he can change that system by running for a position he can't possibly win, and who seems to get not just annoying but annoyed whenever anyone points out how pointless that is.
Ralph, if you really want to help us graduate from the Electoral College, if you really want smaller parties to have an influence in our nation's politics, then you know damn well that's not going to happen in an election year, and certainly not during a campaign. If you want it to happen, start working on it: after the election. Meanwhile, keep taking advantage of your turn to talk.
*When a reporter asks a politician a question -- any reporter, any politician, any question, anytime, anywhere -- it means only one thing: it's the politician's turn to talk.
